On Rebuilding A Life

I'm trying not to get ahead of myself here. Trying not to be too proud. As I've said several times before, 'the wheels could fall off of this wagon at any moment' but today is the start to DAY 19 and I couldn't be more thrilled! Never has this been accomplished in my adult life and I feel pretty confident. This weekend I've made it through happy hour with girlfriends at a brewery and a dinner with friends in the neighborhood. In both scenarios there was casual drinking and there is nothing wrong with that! For me, that has always been a bit of a gamble. Always the one going back for seconds, thirds, more quickly than anyone else or finishing the first bottle well before the evening is over and my party was never over when the party was over. I came SO close to caving at the brewery on Friday. The dialogue in my head was so familiar but this time I was able to rewrite the ending.  Since having the random/not random conversation with the neighborhood acquaintance...

When I tried this in March, which seems like ages ago thanks to COVID 19, I made it 12 days and on the evening of the 12th day I thought I was strong enough to limit myself to only a drink or two. History was faithful, proving itself yet again, and that night ended the same as most every other. Like I've mentioned, there have been many starts and stops in my attempt to control alcohol but this one is my official Take Two. I feel stronger this time around and my effort feels like it has real purpose and so I am taking it very seriously. My umpteenth attempt at Day One was August 26, 2020.  So far, I've made it through a pool day with my friends drinking mimosas, two happy hours with friends and a dinner out while everyone else drank wine.  A different approach this time around has included coming clean with my husband. This is something that, surprisingly, I've never done. Honestly, I can't say why I haven't been completely honest. He is kind and patient. He isn'...